hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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