He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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