went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
try to milk me bitch
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize