Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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