Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
