I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
