It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
