i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
