dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
