I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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