If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When are your genitals available?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
