If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
