I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We got so high we made milksteak
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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