How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
