is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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