Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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