Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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