Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
