her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
