This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
