the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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