ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
