from now on my penis is your penis
she woke up with a sticky ear
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
