Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
