also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
