my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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