just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
