i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
