I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
