Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
