is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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