help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Four minutes until I can fart!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
