We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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