He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
