Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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