I think I died a long time ago.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
