I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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