I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
