Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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