I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
