well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
