ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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