what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
