Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
