she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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