you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
