I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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