My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize