ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
