WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
