Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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