i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
