I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
