i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
