Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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