...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
