i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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