I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
