where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
