My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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