Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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