im gay
i know
yea but for you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize