Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
