i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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