were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
