he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
