i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
