my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
