Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize