You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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