No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize